:| techno.toltec |:'s topics - tribe.net

a dream concept, where it's Forever Midnight ~ afterhour underground showcase ~

2008-04-17T10:58:52Z

Forever Midnight
dream
special 4/20 * early opening
Midnight till 10am

once again we bring you the showcase event: DREAM, it's forever midnight in this lucid concept. ambiance includes stars, beats that go bump in the night and turbo sound. our dream is to blur the line between dance genres, diverse underground electronic artists and djs always.

so come down at midnight, head over after the various quality events going bump in the city.. or wake up early to dance. it's your choice, and you got plenty. lucky us los angeles.

guests for 4-20-08

Hector Cardenas
Founder of San Francisco's legendary Funky Techno Tribe

Easily Influenced
Hawt Music Label and founders of the Famed LA underground HAWT

Droog
is the DJ cadre of Andrei Osyka, Brett Griffin and Justin Sloe
Avalon Hollywood, Freak'N'Chic WMC

Jack Monforte
of Soulplanet Records.. not only a dj, but a sound engineer, band member, and graffiti artists whose work is listed in the history of los angeles graffiti volume one.

Joey Bykowski
charmer of women and beats. you can also find his creations on the urbandictionary

The Hollywood Insider
www.dirtygingers.com/
dj, digital artist and nice guy

Downtown Los Angeles
3775 south Broadway * cross street 38th

10$ all morning
grilled cheese sammiches
brownies and!
margaritas served at sun up
$10
midnight to 10am

please respect our neighbors as you park and enter FM

rsvp to t.honey@gmail.com
myspace.com/forever_midnightla

BIOS:

Droog
DROOG is the DJ cadre of Andrei Osyka, Brett Griffin and Justin Sloe. We play dance music -- techno, house, minimal. DROOG has had the honor of playing alongside influences such as Richie Hawtin, Lee Burridge, Damian Lazarus, Tiefschwarz, Three, Mr. C, Booka Shade, MANDY, Jamie Jones, Matthew Dear, Magda and Tiga. We currently have a residency at Avalon (Hollywood), as well as promote our own parties, including a recent Freak n' Chic label showcase at the WMC '08

Hector Cardenas
International DJ, innovative producer, founder and front man of one of the world's most legendary party organizations: FunkyTekno Tribe (FTT) and Organic. -DJ Hector Cardenas has emerged as a pioneering force in the house music scene and has continued to be instrumental in the proliferation of dance music on a global scale. Hector Cardenas' versitility as a DJ is second to none, applying his own unique and highly sophisticated stlye to all aspects of dance, ranging from future house and funky tekno to hip-house mash-ups and jazzy grooves. Starting out as a club DJ in 1989, Hector eventually joined forces with founding co-partners Kevon Banks and Jerry Sladewski in 1992 to form FTT just as the burgeoning underground rave scene was exploding along California's sunny shores. Firmly establishing himself as an FTT resident DJ, Hector has played at some of the worlds hottest clubs and has shared the stage with many of the world's premier electronic music artists such as DJ Sneak, Junior Sanchez, Mark Farina, DJ Dan, Daft Punk and The Basement Jaxx to name a few. After years of great success touring and producing parties with the FTT crew, Hector now spends a lot of his time traveling and playing the international club circuit as well as playing residency at clubs in the San Francisco Bay Area. Recently, Hector has toured Amsterdam, South Africa, the Domincan Republic and Mexico and is now looking foward to spending more time in the studio honing his recording and re-mixing skills. found this plain layout

Easily Influenced
Gelly Kusuma and Mikey Velazquez
Together, Mikey and Gelly both launched the self-coined "HAWT Movement" in February of 2006 in Los Angeles, California. Best friends united by their relentless passion for music, they set out to change the way that people looked at house music, parties, and just having fun in general. "At first we just wanted to start a record label in order to showcase our own music, meanwhile having the opportunity to sign our favorite artists that we admire", says Mikey. "Along with that came the party, and that's what really put us on the map and opened up doors to gradually build relationships that will forever change our lives".

In May of 2006, HAWT Afterhours was born. On every 1st and 3rd Friday since the inception, HAWT's underground parties have not only showcased the DJ talent of various quality acts from all over the world, such as Inland Knights, Justin Long, Johnny Fiasco and many more, but they have also displayed the talent of so many of the great DJ's in the local scene. "We always looked back to the beginnning, before we ever had a gig and knew that this was an important step, something that people needed and appreciated", says Gelly. "Overall, the main focus has always been on bringing back that old school house vibe at parties, bringing friends together with music, and just breaking boundaries and having FUN", according to Mikey. HAWT also stands for "Having A Wonderful Time", and they have done just that with the help of Eddie Barajas, Mike Magana, and many more along the way.

Keep an eye out for original music and remixes by EASILY INFLUENCED, which has been getting played by many world class acts such as Derrick Carter, Justin Long, Phil Weeks, DJ Mes, Natural Rhythm, Ricardo Rae, etc. "We think our versatility will surprise people. We really do love it all, and that will become evident in our music the longer and longer we do this", said Gelly. He continues, "we want our style to basically be versatility, and never want to hold anything back. If we're feeling something, whatever sound or style that may be, we make it."

Bykowski
"Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance. Of how much you really want to do it. And you'll do it, despite rejection in the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you're going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods. And the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It's the only good fight there is." -Charles Bukowski"

Jack Monforte
In the beginning there was Jack...or so the story goes.
Jack "Freedom" Monforte has been spinning for over two decades now.
An underground fixture since the late eighties, he joined forces with two other promoters
in the early nineties to create Sweet Sundays.
Shortly thereafter he moved to Alaska, where he saw an opportunity to bring the underground techno scene to virgin territory, today Jack is considered one of the pioneers of the Alaskan electronic scene.
Moving back to Los Angeles in the mid nineties saw Jack earn a residency at
Club Diva where he opened up for Richard Vission and live acts like,
Rozalla, Donna Blakely, Alyus, Bad Boy Bill,etc...
In the early part of 2001 Jack along with partner K.C. Santana created Soulplanet Sessions.
a place where musicians,Djs and dancers could come together and create magic.
Soulplanet Sessions has hosted the likes of Marlon D,Master Kev, Tony Powell, Wayne Lyons and numerous other DJs.
Apart from being a producer/ DJ, his other passion is Graffiti art and photography.
Jack's appearances have included...Dirty Dirty House Club, The Clinic, Faith after-hours, Inspiration, Therapy (FTWK), Movin, Union Square Lounge (NYC), The End Up (San Francisco) and countless one offs.
From spinning hip hop to the most soulful garage house music, Jack is
constantly looking for the perfect beat.

posted in :| techno.toltec |: - 0 replies

jose arguelles vs. the real mayan calender

2008-01-10T08:26:30Z

Hey, There's been alot of discussion lately over here in Oz about the difference b/n Jose Arguelle's 13 Moon calender and the *real* mayan count as put out there by the Mayan elders. And I've noticed that Jose has distanced himself from using the word 'mayan' on new publications etc. This is causing lots of confusion etc. What do other people think about the disparity of the two? It seems that Jose channelled his version and the other is from the mayan heritage.... any ideas on books that might look at the *real* mayan calender? For myself, I've had lots of experience with the Jose version, and something always didn't sit quite right intuitively about it, and then later it was pointed out to me that it wasn't the real calender. Thoughts???? cheers, Meri xx

posted in :| techno.toltec |: - 5 replies

Journey to Mayalands in March

2008-01-07T02:18:24Z

Namaste friends and seekers,

Just wanted to pass along this information for those of you to whom this may be of interest.

I just returned from my second trip studying and doing energy work with Mayan Elder Hunbatz Men in the Yucatan. Once again, the journey has forever changed my life. The effects in my daily life, my business, and my personal life of my first trip with him were amazing...and I've only been back a week from the second journey and, already, the universe has shown me clearly the rewards from this work.

The level of activation work that can take place at those sacred sites is astonishing. The trip in December included several "seasoned" lightworkers who were equally amazed as I at the velocity of consciousness-awakening that can take place at the temples of the Mayalands.

I will be returning again in March with a group from around the world, and hope to see some of you there! This trip will focus on the Spring Equinox, and classes will cover Mayan cosmology and calendars, while ceremonies and rituals will be led at sacred sites like Dzibilchatun, Uxmal, and Chichen Itza. Natural wonders of the Yucatan will also be explored, including the Cave of Balankanche. See the link below for more information:
http://www.holisticlivingschool.org/MayanSpringEquinox.gif

In Lak'ech,
Emily

posted in :| techno.toltec |: - 0 replies

need to share heart

2007-11-27T03:45:53Z

curious what comes to my attention when i went over my profile recently. This post shows up! At the bottom, showing posts i've made which seem to show my authoritarian conditioning under the symptomatic realities of living under colonization mind.

Anyway, my heart is expressed in a continual process, as is all of ours!

i don't have much time now, but i will leave you with this!

the post:

AIM will be after your asses
Charging money for alleged spiritual native traditions is so disrespectful! The American Indian Movement has a record of going militant after people like you. You may have true native people involved, but that doesn't mean they can't be sell-outs!

Those interested in exploring our *mutual* indigenous roots (we're all descendents of tribes!) would do well to educate themselves about the ways in which traditionals are coordinating responses to those who are profiteering off of, and lending a hand to the invader mentality, by engaging in these kinds of apparent exploitations.

Check out www.FirstNations.com for example, and see the forum where a discussion of "Plastic Medicine Men" has been going on. - touch ah-city mut... , posted 01/26/06

posted in :| techno.toltec |: - 2 replies

fire.walkers

2007-08-08T14:30:52Z

the touch of love
sets my soul aflame
it is beneath you and i
that lies our earthly desires
one move, breathe, spark
and everything is in motion
untamed yet divine
as the embers fall from our smiles
we walk silently
across it's glow

http://www.nationalgeographic.com/features/2000/physical/firewalk/

http://www.janesoceania.com/fiji_images/fiji%20%20A%20GROUP%20OF%20FIREWALKERS.jpg

posted in :| techno.toltec |: - 12 replies

dealing with one's petty tyrants

2007-06-27T22:33:18Z

a situation at work has proved challenging but, in the end, educational.
having had my attention turned to my own "buttons," i went back to the castaneda material, which has always served me well.

the "predators" alluded to here fit, i think, with the Petty Tyrant dynamic.

_______________________________

from a conversation between Don Juan Matus and Castaneda:

"Sorcerers understand discipline as the capacity to face with serenity odds that are not included in our expectations. For sorcerers, discipline is an art; the art of facing infinity without flinching; not because they are strong and tough, but because they are filled with awe."

"In what way would the sorcerers' discipline be a deterrent to the flyers?" I asked.

Don Juan scrutinized my face as if to discover any signs of my disbelief. He said,"Sorcerers say that discipline makes the glowing coat of awareness unpalatable to the flyer.

"The result is that the predators become bewildered. An inedible glowing coat of awareness is not part of their cognition, I suppose. After being bewildered, they don't have any recourse other than refraining from continuing their nefarious [* nefarious- extremely wicked] task.

He continued, saying, "If the predators don't eat our glowing coat of awareness for a while, it will keep on growing. Simplifying this matter to the extreme, I can say that sorcerers, by means of their discipline, push the predators away long enough to allow their glowing coat of awareness to grow beyond the level of the toes. Once it goes beyond the level of the toes, it grows back to its natural size.

"The sorcerers of ancient Mexico used to say that the glowing coat of awareness is like a tree. If it is not pruned, it grows to its natural size and volume. As awareness reaches levels higher than the toes, tremendous maneuvers of perception become a matter of course.

"The grand trick of those sorcerers of ancient times," don Juan continued, "was to burden the flyers' mind with discipline.

"Sorcerers found out that if they taxed the flyers' mind with inner silence, the foreign installation would flee, and give any one of the practitioners involved in this maneuver the total certainty of the mind's foreign origin.

"The foreign installation comes back, I assure you, but not as strong; and a process begins in which the fleeing of the flyers' mind becomes routine until one day it flees permanently.

"That's the day when you have to rely on your own devices which are nearly zero. A sad day indeed! There's no one to tell you what to do. There's no mind of foreign origin to dictate the imbecilities you're accustomed to.

"My teacher, the nagual Julian, used to warn all his disciples," don Juan continued,"that this was the toughest day in a sorcerer's life for the real mind that belongs to us.

"The sum total of our experience after a lifetime of domination has been rendered shy, insecure, and shifty.

"Personally, I would say that the real battle of sorcerers begins at that moment. The rest is merely preparation."

I became genuinely agitated. I wanted to know more, and yet a strange feeling in me clamored for me to stop. It alluded to dark results and punishment, something like the wrath of God descending on me for tampering with something veiled by God himself. I made a supreme effort to allow my curiosity to win.

I heard myself say, "What-what-what do you mean, by taxing the flyers' mind?"

"Discipline taxes the foreign mind no end," he replied. "So, through their discipline, sorcerers vanquish the foreign installation."

posted in :| techno.toltec |: - 5 replies

Visionaries Channelling Vital Inspirational Depth Seeing (with art(e))

2007-05-08T22:32:34Z

Hey, a quick side note:::i've been finding that the way my colonization narrative works --*against* my seeking to listen and flow with the toltec suggestions-- that i tend to unconsciously "rebel from" the suggestions, and then, still wanting to listen to them, find myself at yet another, deeper plane of listening to them!

Well, what i came here to share::::}

This art(e) installment shares and gifts those who see the value of reading through these cruciaL aRt(e) spirit-uaL 'affidavits" with the visionary ideahz that i hav been experiencing and tasting and digesting,,,,all in a spirit of creative nonviolent becoming. Mostly art, few words from here

Decolonizing visionary ideas include
depths from::

a Lakota wisdom keeper (with many years of front-line experience within and beyond the corralls of politrix)

an Onkwehonwe wisdom keeper (with a few years of similar experience as above)

a Fra-Ger-Eng-rish Scot depth charger still goinG into heart artz with about 15 years of semi-similar experience as those above
:}

And much "weird" decolonizing art(e) from the "unconscious" great spiRit worLd

May you be inspired in the work/play you chooz in this time of building energy in many directions!

See the art(e), which iz a kind of "cruciaL aRtz" spiRit-uaL depth prayer:
http://la.indymedia.org/news/2007/05/198514.php

posted in :| techno.toltec |: - 0 replies

a way of being within the agreements while also depth-charging?: intro to "the orrior way"

2007-04-05T06:54:26Z

i'm curious about whether this vision might fit into the ideas of The Four Agreements and other Toltec teachings. Here is what i wish to share:::

An intro to "the orrior way"==a vision whose time has come; "orrior" not "warrior"

This is a visionary angle of mine, meant to possibly inspire thoughtful discussion everywhere.

What is this word "orrior" about? Well, the idea is the "or" beyond the "war" in the much taken-for-granted idea of "war-rior" (which I feel tends to tool us into traps we'd rather avoid somehow). The idea of permitting ourselves, validating ourselves to see ourselves and our desires for peace (tho in this case, i'm talking about *radical/radicalized peace*; where *we* get to define our ideas of peace/sanity instead of forever deferring to others in a kind of "chain-of-command" structure of envisioning ourselves and this reality we find ourselves in).

One idea about this "orrior" idea is that the words we pick up and utilize either have a way of "going to the heart" of liberating vibes, or they tend to get tooled by tyrannical vibes and aggressions. Thus the idea of "orrior" is meant especially to escape/evolve from the "war" within the word, and to create a "new" power, while validating our *own* ways of envisioning ourselves.

(to note: my inclination is *not* to promote artificial avoidance of "war" itself, which i think is unrealistic in a world full of persons mobilized to such *physicalities*, but to avoid how the general use of the term has a way of "occupying" and filling up the territory of our minds and our visionary imaginations, with its variously alienating aspects--i.e. the intense alienation of elites pushing uncomprehending populaces against each other for reasons of corporate- and state-craft).

Notably, as you read about these ideas, they are not "pacifist"/passive; they are coming from CONFRONTATIONAL strategies of nonviolence, similar to the "mass ju-jitsu" ideas of Saul Alinsky (whose creativity I agree with, not his reformist polytricks).

Other terms relating to and providing a kind of foundation for "the orrior way" include the "cruciaL aRtz" and "spanarchy" (see links below).

Two links go into image details,
the updated intro to "the orrior way":
http://la.indymedia.org/news/2007/04/196344.php
and
the original full zine (or, what I *think* is the whole thing):
www.angelfire.com/indie/desires/OrriorComix1/indexOR.html

Background info can be found here:
www.angelfire.com/folk/crucialarts/ (the crucial arts)
and here:
www.angelfire.com/folk/crucialarts/spanarchy.html (and an ideah called "spanarchy")

Note: all art shared here is by me, is anti-copyright (excepting use by government, corporate, or formal reformist-type media) and may be informally self-published everywhere (i.e. to help finance your survival desires, tho "not for profit")

For ideas relating to the "orrior" way, see Green Anarchy #23, Summer/Fall '06:
http://www.greenanarchy.org/index.php?action=viewwritingdetail&returnto=viewjournal&printIssueId=20&writingId=641
...Especially the part where there is discussion of Mohawk scholar Taiaiake Alfred's new book _Wasáse_ (2005). Here is a portion:

"...[Alfred] asks the question, what prevents us from decolonizing our minds? Interestingly enough from a surrealist perspective, he points to the atrophied power of the imagination as a key impediment to decolonization. As he explains, "We have lost our ability to dream our new selves and a new world into existence. We have mistakenly accepted the resolution to our problems that is designed by people who would have us move out of our rusty old colonial cages and right back into a shiny new prison of coping defined by managed fears and deadened emotional capacities.""

posted in :| techno.toltec |: - 0 replies

Okay, what is wrong with this picture?

2007-04-02T07:45:18Z

Hey,
i posted the following on the "nativeamerican (the real deal)" tribe just now and thought i ought to pass it by here, to perhaps engage in a meaningful discussion even tho it likely isn't perhaps what you're at all used to, but which the Four Agreements may be applied to (or not?). All thoughtful input is welcome; and i happen to think the ideas i'm discussing here could be crucial along the agreements i'm designing for my *own* way. Perhaps there's something here for others here as well? (feel free to "privately" discuss this with me if you think public discussion might be problematic)

(Longer time members of this "tribe" will recall that i've levelled my own criticisms here from time to time; now's your chance to level some at me, if you think that's what i need!)

Anyway, do go see the thread (http://nativeamericantherealdeal.tribe.net/thread/bcb08ddd-62d8-41de-832b-a0ac5c284c87?newpostingid=62e401b6-d2c2-4462-95e4-ab253b31f985#62e401b6-d2c2-4462-95e4-ab253b31f985) (dang, is that url looong or what?) so you get a taste of what's going on o'er there. (I also seek input about Funbags' ideas, as i've engaged him critically and he says he's listening)

::::::the post:::::

angel, you're taking what i said way outta context, becuz i never leveled "apple indian' on anyone except in generalization (I was thinking of non-traditional native people like Dickie Wilson, the ex-Pine Ridge b.i.a.-subsidized tyrant). Maybe you *like* feeling offended, i dunno,,, just watch out that your knee doesn't jerk up too high and knock you out!

And, yeah, i will say that you're playing (or being played by?) the race card by reducing people down to ability to comprehend or not ***simply due to their race!*** So, you're offended? Then maybe that's a GOOD thing for you to be,,,,Perhaps it's gOOd for you in your life process-ingz,,,,(((i'm of the skooL that sayz *protect by strategies of enrichment, not restriction*)))

A "radical" example about your saying "all white people" cannot see because of their "cultural lexicon" ***can be turned on its head*** by recalling that there are traditional Laplanders and other traditional europeans (who are "white") who CAN comprehend being indigeneous. Why? Because they have not been completely separated from their traditions like most other DOMESTICATED white folks! So there. *****And this is what i'm trying to get at about analysis that remains stuck in PC-type superficial consciousness!***** (I'm assuming you're quite prone to Politically Correct (PC) thinking due to the reference to zmag; not exactly a "radical" publication (tho I'm glad they publish Chomsky as much as they do). --Just the fact that they don't seem to ever escape race analysis exposes their superficial analysis. ((You wanna go into that? Let's do it!))

So that's a quick example. A less easy to digest example, apparently for you --perhaps because your degree in White Studies ((grin)) comes from too much institutionalized thinking-- is that "white folks"/domesticated folks, like any other human being, CAN evolve their/our thinking! We CAN be radicalized (tho perhaps only by repeated stinging slaps/punches in our face with reality, and then either stumbling upon meaningful alts or being welcomed into de-domesticating communities, i.e. traditional indigenous folks). And we *can* experience and realize growing connections to Mom Earth in ways that our "cultural lexicon" doesn't teach us! Imagine that! (i for one got one type of connection when i was bicycle bush-camping in nw alberta, canada more than 20 years ago and saw a bear face to face; it wasn't the sighting that did it, it was how *something* took over my will and *froze* me. Consciously, i couldn't do anything but look "out of the corner of my eye" while staring straight ahead. And that gave me a paradigm shift that my "cultural lexicon" never even discussed!)

But you seem to be like so many strategically challenged PC proto- fascists who simply cannot allow yourselves to think beyond rigid, hysterified truths (so convenient for the games and tactics of perpetual domesticators, INCLUDING The Leftwing of domestication)--****WHEN you reduce human beings down to being simply the color of their skin!!!****

So BE offended. Maybe it's time you EVOLVED YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS beyond zmag-style superficial liberal analysis ***(not that the "conservative" side of domestication is any better!)***, and listened to, watched, or read someone like John Trudell! You folks wanna talk about "the real deal" so much,,,,or is that just another gimmick for AIM,Inc-style games?

I DO accept that people who look different than white, domesticated folks don't experience the "privileges" that we take for granted ****(tho I tend to question the idea of calling such "privileges", and think critical thinking folks ought to come up with words that *say what we mean* more clearly, so that we dileneate between false/alienated values and things like having clean, running water)****. And I also accept things like that y'all get profiled more heavily, and that y'all may well not be able to even nicely say no to cops who want to, say, search your vehicle. I can accept that; ***but at the same time I see that there's also A MANDATE, ordered upon cops from their 'superiors' (which can are being revoked more and more, as reality is more and more exposed; recall airport profiling of people like Cat Stevens) to treat white, domesticated folks (especially the rich, upper, and middle class-looking variety) with more "lenience". I can accept this. But I see that profiling, "unprofessional" cops, and shit like that is a decision not BASED in race so much as on policies made to keep people alienated, divided, and conquered! (and that goes for whites as well as "redskins"! Because if we were to informally get beyond the war of race (and the wars of so much else), and see each other as ALL tooled people, we would become "threatening"!

But as long as we submit to these constructs that "our leaders" have thought up for us, and as long as we get side-tracked by hierarchizing which group is "Has it Worst" and which group "Doesn't", we will continue to be fooled and tooled! We will continue to be ghetto-ized and incapable of coming together in authentic momentums of mutual liberation!

So, to conclude, i'm GLAD you're pissed. Maybe you (or others drawn to this real deal) will actually think things out after you get tired of foaming at the mouth!

Now, I'm saying all this and I'm sticking around here because I know I ain't got all the answers, either. But I'm not one of those fake Nice people who play all subordinate just becuz you are a different race, or becuz you say i had better. And so, no, i ain't going to follow your orders just becuz you're a claimed or real full or part Native! I ain't going to submit to *any* "authority" just because of what they say I BETTER do (or ELSE). Fuck that bullshit; I stand for a world where you are free to speak your mind/heart and so am i! i listen to my intuitions and consciousness and i stand by such, until someone comes along who can trip me out of that! (And it's happened before; i recall one time when a native guy was leading a sweat and he was drinking Pepsi...and i was all privately pissed and thinking he's going to be full of bullshit...but then during the sweat i was letting loose with my own stuff, yelling out, and suddenly he cut loose with a yell, which, with that alone, i understood was from the HEART. And it was something like i'd never heard or imagined!)

So i'm not claiming to have a monopoly on truth --like you. But i'm a three-spirit cavorts-between (aka natives hav called us "winktes") and i stick to my intutions, after a lifetime of experiences, self-liberation study, and speaking up no matter what.

Anyway, i don't mind being "made an example of" for how to deal with independent thinking that isn't PC enough for perhaps many of you. And at the same time i can admit that i may need some forms of "attitude adjustment" for some of my feelings.

daring to be "radically excellent" with y'all,
in "perfectly imperfect" wayz,,,,
touch-ahcity

posted in :| techno.toltec |: - 6 replies

Looking for Participants for study

2007-03-27T17:52:00Z

Hey all, A good friend of mine is looking for participants for her dissertation study. See below for deets!

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
and
Spiritual Emergence

Dissertation Research Project

Dear Reader,

I am seeking participants for my doctoral dissertation research project on PTSD and Spiritual Emergence. Please spread the word to potential participants in your network of friends and collegues. The "Call To Participants" below describes the criteria I am seeking.

Also, attached to this email is a description of the interview process.

Feel free to contact me with any questions: AudreyLehmannMFT@gmail.com , (510) 496-6015, or (541) 773-1549.

Thanks so much for your time,

Audrey

Audrey Lehmann, Licensed Marriage Family Therapist
OR License #T0520
CA License #MFC42745
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CALL FOR RESEARCH PARTICIPANTS

I am seeking individuals who have suffered from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and who have also undergone a Spiritual Emergence. It is not necessary that these experiences occurred simultaneously, only that an individual has undergone both.

Some common symptoms for PTSD and Spiritual Emergence:

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Repeated, disturbing memories, thoughts or images of traumatic event
Suddenly acting or feeling as if an experience were happening again
Having physical reactions (e.g., heart pounding, trouble breathing, or sweating) when reminded of the stressful event
"Dissociating," or feeling as if one is outside of one's body

Spiritual Emergence
Altered states of consciousness that are of a spiritual nature
A profound psychological transformation that feels sacred or holy
Intense energetic states, such as a "Kundalini Awakening" (a sudden experience of life-force energy and change in consciousness)
Increasing awareness of the spiritual dimension in one's life and in the universal scheme of things

Again, thanks for your time.

Audrey Lehmann, Licensed Marriage Family Therapist
AudreyLehmannMFT@gmail.com
510.496.6015
541.773.1549

posted in :| techno.toltec |: - 0 replies

...have been noting the depths of the agreements lately...

2007-03-16T04:41:13Z

Accidentally posted on wrong toltec tribe!
(originally intended to post this *here* but accidentally posted it at another four agreements page, back on Feb.27.)

Thought i'd post this because it's been awhile since i've posted, and i thought i'd share a bit about recent developments on this topic.

Basically, i've been "wearing" the agreements for a few years now. But only recently came to the realization that there are several depths to which i can still catch myself, by surprise, making assumptions and taking things personally. Such are so "inbred", so habituated, that when things come to "a head", it's very easy to fall back on what we know.

Anyway, a recent experience had me "arting myself" in my own special way, and then going thru that and thinking about that while i was doing this art of myself (an actual interaction with various people, including a community where i was having troubles). Well, it's very late here now and i guess i just wanted to share a little, for now.

posted in :| techno.toltec |: - 0 replies

DEEPER MOODS vs [KONTROL]

2007-02-10T01:51:55Z

DEEPER MOODS vs [KONTROL]

Los Angeles and San Francisco unite for an MNML gathering in the City of Angels. Come celebrate Darius B-Day weekend in a Brand New Location!!

Dj's
ALLAND BYALLO
CRAIG KUNA
vs
DARIUS
MACADAMION

ACID CIRCUS vs DRUMCELL "LIVE"

INfo Line 323 960 1033
$10 Rsvp List @ NektrEvents@Gmail.com
Free mix by Darius from Abe Duque Show 01-12-07
--
Nektr Events
www.nektr-events.com
www.myspace.com/housemusic
www.myspace.com/deepermoods read more

posted in :| techno.toltec |: - 0 replies

BIG tibetan singing bowls ?

2007-02-08T16:19:11Z

Im looking for somewhere where i can purchase large tibetan singing bowls ( crystal if possible )

When I say bit i mean 12 " and above, though I am interested in other modfications involving bowls i.e. electronics or even of Giant status i.e. the sort of bell you could live in.

This is all I ask for the man who has a task

posted in :| techno.toltec |: - 0 replies

Looking for Adventurers to change the World!!

2007-01-20T06:31:17Z

MythMaker Productions
The Mytho Theatrical Sacred Circus
Is looking for a few good Adventurers to change the World!!
Calling all Hero’s & Heroin’s,
Sacred Warriors, Elves, Wizards, Ninjas & Jedi Knights

We are recruiting for the 2007 summer tour season
A 40’ bus of Bards, Artists, Circus Creatures and Sacred Warriors
Will be traveling the U.S. & Canadian west coast in aims to shift culture thru Art.

We Are Seeking:
Spiritual Warriors
Circus Performers
Actors/Actresses
Stilt walkers/Fire dancers
Dancers/Acrobats
Musicians/Artists
Lighting/Sound tech
Support crew – vending, children, ect..

Application Questionnaires available now

Auditions/Training camp begins this spring

For More Info Go to
www.mythmaker.ca

Please send replies to Hjeron thru the website

posted in :| techno.toltec |: - 0 replies

* * BABY.LOVE **

2006-12-19T21:10:57Z

And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said,
"Speak to us of Children."

And he said:

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.

They come THROUGH you but not FROM you,

And though they are WITH you, yet they BELONG NOT to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts.

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;

For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

BLessed Love EverYONE....
have a beautiful week

posted in :| techno.toltec |: - 1 reply

let's start up the quote of the day again ~*

2006-12-11T21:26:24Z

shall we?

Love isn't there to make us happy. I believe it exists to show us how much we can endure.

HERMANN HESSE, Peter Camenzind

(( i like this ... sometimes i feel like love is alive ... in it's yearning to be nurtured. gazing at us with dialated pupils ... dive in))

posted in :| techno.toltec |: - 7 replies

care for a giggle or two::

2006-12-11T21:20:52Z

this guy gots moves*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gx-NLPH8JeM

posted in :| techno.toltec |: - 1 reply

THE FOUR AGREEMENTS SKILLS FOR FREEDOM AND TRANSFORMATION

2006-12-07T04:00:27Z

THE FOUR AGREEMENTS

SKILLS FOR FREEDOM AND TRANSFORMATION

Everything we do is based on agreements we have made. What we agreed to believe creates what we experience. In his book The Four Agreements don Miguel Ruiz outlines the source of the self-limiting beliefs that rob us of joy and create needless suffering. Based on ancient Toltec wisdom, the four agreements offer simple but powerful tools we can use to transform our lives for a new experience of personal freedom, true happiness and authentic love.

We will meet four alternate Sunday evenings from 5:00 to 6:30 pm

SEPTEMBER 17 BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD

OCTOBER 1 DON'T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY

OCTOBER 15 DON'T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS

NOVEMBER 5 ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST

ARIEL LITZKY and PAUL ANDRADE aka greenman have dedicated many years to their apprenticeship and practice of personal transformation with the Center of Creative Intent founded by Heather Ash Amara, a Toltec Mentor in the Eagle Knight lineage introduced by don Miguel Ruiz.

Paul and Ariel are committed to joyfully sharing the tools and wisdom that they have discovered on their quest for transformation, personal freedom, and authentic happiness.

Classes will be held at THE HOME OF TRUTH SPIRITUAL CENTER 1300 Grand St Alameda CA

PRICE: $15-10 sliding scale No one turned away for lack of funds

For more information call Paul @510-704-8555 or Ariel @510-865-3943

posted in :| techno.toltec |: - 2 replies

bleached bones, the remains of Castaneda's 'blue scout' found in Death Valley

2006-11-19T22:24:20Z

February 10, 2006

Remains of guru's disciple identified
BONES FOUND IN DEATH VALLEY CONFIRMED TO BE THOSE OF
PATRICIA PARTIN/NURY ALEXANDER

By ROBIN FLINCHUM
SPECIAL TO THE PVT
Shortly after the 1998 death of "A Separate Reality"
guru Carlos Castaneda, whose peyote-fueled sorceric
journeys into the Mexican desert captured the
imagination of a generation in the 1970s, five of his
closest disciples made out their wills, disconnected
their telephones, and disappeared into thin air.

Some believed the five women, three of whom were known
as "the witches," might have "burned from within," or
vaporized into balls of light that joined with the
eternal universe as Castaneda had promised to do but
failed. Last week, positive identification of a set of
human remains found in a remote area of Death Valley
National Park revealed that at least one of them had,
like Castaneda, died an ordinary human death.

Although the remains were actually found some three
years ago by a pair of hikers in the Panamint Dunes
region of the national park, the bones were so
desiccated that extracting a DNA sample proved
impossible at the time. However, according to Inyo
County Sheriff's investigator Marston Mottweiler, the
development of new forensic technology recently
produced a workable specimen.

Mottweiler said the sheriff's office had long
suspected that the remains were those of Patricia
Partin, also known as Nury Alexander, the adopted
daughter of Carlos Castaneda and one of his closest
disciples. The newly recovered specimen, when compared
to DNA samples taken from Partin's mother and three
sisters, proved Mottweiler's theory to be true.

Officially, the cause of Partin/Alexander's death is
undetermined. Only 70 percent of her skeleton was
recovered, along with a few scraps of a pair of pink
jogging pants. The skull was never found, but in a
land populated by hungry coyotes, this is not unusual.
After five years under a brutal desert sun, any
secrets the bones might have revealed were long ago
worn away.

But most who knew Partin/Alexander suspect that she
took her own life. Gaby Geuter, a retired Los Angeles
travel agent who had known Alexander for six years,
said she believed there were many compelling reasons
Alexander might have chosen suicide; disappointment
over Castaneda's ordinary death from liver cancer,
disappointment over not having been transported into
the infinite universe with her master, and an
inability to contemplate the future without her sole
source of financial and emotional support.

In his popular books, Castaneda had described how his
Yaqui teacher left the world in 1973 by "burning from
within," or dispersing his physical form into a ball
of light that joined with the universe. Castaneda's
followers believed he would leave the world the same
way, and that he might even take his closest followers
with him.

"The way Carlos died was a great disappointment,"
Geuter said. Castaneda had woven a web - a sort of
separate reality - around the women he supported in
his secluded Los Angeles home and, Geuter said, they
believed in him so strongly that his ordinary death
from a lingering form of liver cancer may have
shattered their confidence in the life they'd been
living for decades.

For Geuter, who began studying with Castaneda in
small, private workshops in the early 1990s, the news
of the identification of Alexander's bones was sad,
but not unexpected. Though she called Alexander's
death tragic, Geuter suspects the four other women
probably made the same choice.

During the last two years of his life, Geuter followed
Castaneda in secret, filming and documenting his
movements in order to learn whether the private man
truly lived the life he preached to his students. The
results of her quest were published in a book called
"Filming Castaneda; the Hunt for Magic and Reason."

Geuter first met Alexander at movement workshops given
by Castaneda in 1992. The master introduced Alexander
as his daughter and called her Blue Scout. The
sorcerer/philosopher sometimes told a tale of having
retrieved Alexander from another dimension when she
was only seven years old, and that she had been
educated in a Mexican orphanage. He often held her up
to his followers as a spirit being, a model of
perfection, and he legally adopted her in the
mid-1990s, making her an heir in his will.

In reality, Alexander had a more prosaic past. Born
Patricia Lee Partin in Pasadena, Calif., in 1957, she
grew up in a middle class home, the fourth of five
sisters. Partin dropped out of high school in the
1970s just as Carlos Castaneda's books, "A Separate
Reality" and "Tales of Power" were causing a cultural
phenomenon in the United States. Castaneda's claim to
have met a Yaqui Indian sorcerer in the Mexican desert
and to have learned from him the secrets of
controlling one's own reality appealed to a
disillusioned generation searching for something to
believe in.

Castaneda became an instant guru, though he led a
secluded and very private existence, forbidding
photographs of himself.

Partin met Castaneda in the late 1970s, soon changed
her name to Nury (or Nuri) Alexander, a name with
spiritual significance for her, and moved in with some
of Castaneda's female disciples. In his nearly 30-year
career, Castaneda's disciples tended to be attractive
women and the teacher/student relationship was also a
sexual one, according to many of the women who studied
with him.

One of these was Amy Wallace, daughter of celebrated
author Irving Wallace. Her recently released book "The
Sorcerer's Apprentice" detailed her life as
Castaneda's lover and student, and his voracious
appetite for physical/spiritual relationships with
women.

These relationships were often very intense, with his
closest disciples depending upon Castanada as an
emotional center as well as for their financial
support, according to Geuter. Among the women
Alexander, the Blue Scout, occupied a special place of
prominence. She was described by those who knew her as
temperamental, ethereal and driven by whim - as likely
to take her friends on a shopping spree or a trip to
Disneyland as to reject or insult them, according to a
chronology of her life published by another former
Castaneda student named Corey Donovan.

"She was very thin and fragile looking, childlike
almost," said Geuter, "but strong willed. She was
convinced of herself because she was Carlos' favorite
and was allowed to do things no one else would have
dared to do, like coming in late for workshops."

Alexander looked out of her thin, fragile body with a
pair of commanding, steely eyes that Castaneda often
made much of. But as to her temperament, Castaneda
once said, "her humanness is paper thin."

In keeping with Castaneda's insistence that his
disciples sever all ties with their families of
origin, Alexander stopped communicating with the
Partin family in the late 1970s and they never saw her
again. An attempt to contact her in the 1990s
reportedly ended badly when Alexander rebuffed her
family in particularly vicious terms.

But when investigators contacted members of the Partin
family asking for DNA samples to help identify the
bones, Alexander's mother and three of her sisters
readily contributed in an effort to finally put the
mystery of their missing sister to rest.

Alexander's disappearance was often lumped together
with that of the four other women who vanished, but
Geuter said she believes Alexander left at least
several days later. "We saw her driving around town
after the others were gone," Geuter said, "and it
surprised us." And, Geuter added, if the women had
gone together, Alexander's 1991 Ford Escort would not
have been the vehicle of choice when there were other
newer, larger vehicles available.

Alexander drove to Death Valley's remote Panamint
Dunes probably around the first or second of May,
where the parked Escort was spotted by park rangers.
They kept the vehicle under surveillance for nearly a
week, said Inyo County's Mottweiler, and then had it
impounded as abandoned. A notice was sent to the
address listed on the car registration, but no
response was received. A basic search of missing
person databases revealed no matches. Some time later,
the car was sold at a mechanic's auction and no one in
Inyo County paid the matter any further attention
until nearly five years later, when the remains were
discovered in the dunes some two and a half miles from
where the car was found.

In the pocket of the jogging pants recovered with the
remains was a knife, too small and flimsy to have been
an implement of self-destruction, but unusual and
familiar enough to convince Geuter that the remains
were those of Alexander. But for Mottweiler, even
though all the clues pointed in the direction of Nury
Alexander, conclusive evidence was lacking until last
week.

Now the mystery of at least one of Castaneda's missing
disciples is solved, and for the Partin family the
saga has come to an end. Mottweiler said the remains
would be released to the family, though he did not
know whether they had plans to conduct a memorial.

Whether Partin/Alexander actually killed herself or
succumbed to the Death Valley elements as so many
before her have done is impossible to say, said
Mottweiler, though there is currently no suspicion of
foul play.

Why she chose Death Valley also remains a mystery,
though Geuter had a theory. "The Castaneda story
starts in the desert," Geuter said, "and at least for
this woman it also ends in the desert."

The case remains officially open while the Inyo County
Coroner conducts final tests, but it seems likely that
Nury Alexander took her secrets with her, leaving only
Patricia Partin's scattered bones behind.

posted in :| techno.toltec |: - 0 replies

An Open Invitation to Celestial Warriors

2006-11-12T04:07:52Z

Aloha all.

Just a quick note about a new tribe I started.

You'll know if it's right for you.

All the best!
Brett

tribes.tribe.net/celestial_warriors

posted in :| techno.toltec |: - 0 replies

did anyone else catch a ride on that stream of consciousness~~~~*

2006-10-17T21:30:08Z

this morning!
amazing
was that us?
....
did you hear it .. see it ... words
weaved into
beauty that is ... humanity

vision transmuted into the prism of our 3rd eye...
only to help us understand that beauty is within the beholder
creating kaliedescope voices ... streaming into our collective

let us remind ourselves.. what it is.. to dream
an new web...... now is the time.

peace.

posted in :| techno.toltec |: - 0 replies

Hawk Medicine

2006-10-03T16:56:44Z

Taken from a Daily Om email(http://www.dailyom.com)

September 27, 2006
Hawk Medicine
The Power Of Perspective
Hawks have the power to soar high above the earth, giving them a perspective previously only available to the inhabitants of the heavens above. Because of this, people from various cultures throughout history have seen them as messengers of spirit, bringing wisdom from the heavens and the value of their higher vision down to earth. From their vantage point, riding on the wind and sunlight, they remind us today that there is a bigger picture to be seen. When we get bogged down with the details of what is right in front of us, hawks help us remember that we are part of a larger plan and that everything fits together beautifully and perfectly. Once in this expanded frame of mind, we can harness their reputation as visionaries, using their keen eyesight to focus on the exact spot that truly needs our attention. With inspiration and focus on our goal, hawks teach us how to interpret and then follow our personal vision.

Hawks were thought to be able to look directly into the sun and see what is not visible to the rest of us. Using our spiritual vision, we too can look deeply into the inner light that guides us, seeing clearly what is not visible unless sought: our personal truth glowing within us. With that knowledge, we, like the hawk, can confidently ride the winds of chance, moving as one with the flow of whirling energy. This ability is what inspired the Egyptians to make hawks the hieroglyphic symbol for the wind.

The hawk's ability to live on land but visit the sky is a good reminder for us all. They remind us that their strength and survival comes from communing regularly with the spirit and bringing the guidance received into earthly affairs. Soaring in the province of the heavenly bodies of the sun, the stars, and the wind that moves the clouds reminds us to consider a larger perspective, one that inspires us to move through the world we inhabit with strength, certainty, and grace.

posted in :| techno.toltec |: - 2 replies

movin' messsageboard.

2006-09-30T03:06:27Z

http://movin-ent.com/forum/index.php

come check out a messageboard i'm moderating

dance music (multi-genres), politics, art, business and pinche silliness!!! join up and say hello to me :)

movin-ent.com/forum/index.php

posted in :| techno.toltec |: - 0 replies

SKILL FOR FREEDOM AND TRANSFORMATION OCT 1 DON'T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY

2006-09-28T02:58:59Z

THE FOUR AGREEMENTS Skills for Transformation and Freedom

Everything we do is based on agreements we have made. What we have agreed to believe creates what we experience In his book The Four Agreements, don Miguel Ruiz outlined the source of the self-limiting beliefs that rob us of joy and create needless suffering and suggests four powerful new agreements founded in love and openness. Based on ancient Toltec wisdom, the The Four Agreements offer simple but powerful tools that we can use to transform our lives to a new experience of personal freedom, true happiness, and love.

We will be meeting on four alternate Sundays from 5:00 pm to 6:30 pm

SEPTEMBER 17: BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD
OCTOBER 1: DON'T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY
OCTOBER 15: DON'T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS
NOVEMBER 5: ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST

ARIEL LITZKY and PAUL ANDRADE have dedicated many years to apprenticing and practicing personal transformation with the Center for Creative Intent founded by Heather Ash Amara, a Toltec Mentor in the Eagle Knight lineage of don Miguel Ruiz. Paul and Ariel are committed to sharing the tools and wisdom they have discovered on their journey towards personal freedom and authentic happiness.

Classes will be held at
THE HOME OF TRUTH SPIRITUAL CENTER
1300 Grand Street Alameda

PRICE: $10-15 Sliding scale No one turned away for lack of funds
For more information call Paul @510-704-8655 or Ariel @510-865-3943
reply to this post

posted in :| techno.toltec |: - 0 replies

the real revolution~*

2006-08-23T03:59:07Z

read some now some later.. take the time. if it draws u.
**************

Krishnamurti:

Perhaps this morning we could put all our problems aside - our economic problems, our problems of personal relationship, of ill health, and also the many larger problems that surround us, national and international, the problems of war, of starvation, of riots, and so on. Not that we are escaping from them; but if we can put them all aside, for this morning at least, perhaps we shall then be able to approach them differently - with a fresher mind, with keener perception - and thereby tackle them anew, with greater vigour and clarity.

It seems to me that only love can produce the right revolution, and that every other form of revolution - that is, revolution based on economic theories, on social ideologies, and so on - can only bring about further disorder, more confusion and misery. We cannot hope to resolve the basic human problem by reforming and putting together again its many parts. It is only when there is great love that we can have a total outlook and therefore a total action, instead of this partial, fragmentary activity which we now call revolution, and which leads nowhere.

This morning I would like to talk about something that includes the totality of life - something that is not fragmentary, but a total approach to the whole existence of man; and to go into it rather deeply, it seems to me that one must cease to be caught in theories, beliefs, dogmas. Most of us plough incessantly the soil of the mind, but we never seem to sow; we analyze, discuss, tear things to pieces, but we do not understand the whole movement of life.

Now, I think there are three things that we have to understand very deeply if we are to comprehend the whole movement of life. They are: time, sorrow, and death. To understand time, to comprehend the full significance of sorrow, and to abide with death - all this demands the clarity of love. Love is not a theory, nor is it an ideal. Either you love, or you do not love. It cannot be taught. You cannot take lessons in how to love, nor is there a method by the daily practice of which you can come to know what love is. But I think one comes to love naturally, easily, spontaneously, when one really understands the meaning of time, the extraordinary depth of sorrow, and the purity that comes with death. So perhaps we can consider - factually, not theoretically or abstractly - the nature of time, the quality or structure of sorrow, and the extraordinary thing that we call death. These three things are not separate. If we understand time, we shall understand what death is, and we shall understand also what is sorrow. But if we regard time as something apart from sorrow and death, and try to deal with it separately, then our approach will be fragmentary, and therefore we shall never comprehend the extraordinary beauty and vitality of love.

So this morning we are going to deal with time, not as an abstraction, but as an actuality - time being duration, the continuity of existence. There is chronological time, hours and days extending into millions of years; and it is chronological time that has produced the mind with which we function. The mind is a result of time as the continuity of existence, and the perfecting or polishing of the mind through that continuity is called progress. Time is also the psychological duration which thought has created as a means of achievement. We use time to progress, to achieve, to become, to bring about a certain result. For most of us, time is a stepping stone to something far greater - to the development of certain faculties, to the perfecting of a particular technique, to the achievement of an end, a goal, whether praiseworthy or not; so we have come to think that time is necessary to realize what is true, what is God, what is beyond all the travail of man.

Most of us regard time as the period of duration between the present moment and some moment in the future when we shall have achieved, and we use that time to cultivate character, to get rid of a certain habit, to develop a muscle or an outlook. For two thousand years the Christian mind has been conditioned to believe in a Saviour, in hell, in heaven; and in the East a similar conditioning of the mind has been produced over a far longer period. We think that time is necessary for everything that we have to do or understand, therefore time becomes a burden, it becomes a barrier to actual perception; it prevents us from seeing the truth of something immediately, because we think that we must take time over it. We say, "Tomorrow, or in a couple of years, I shall comprehend this thing with extraordinary clarity". The moment we admit time we are cultivating indolence, that peculiar laziness which prevents us from seeing immediately the thing as it actually is.

We think we need time to break through the conditioning which society - with its organized religions, its codes of morality, its dogmas, its arrogance and its competitive spirit - has imposed upon the mind. We think in terms of time because thought is of time. Thought is the response of memory - memory being the background which has been accumulated, inherited, acquired by the race, by the community, by the group, by the family, and by the individual. This background is the outcome of the additive process of the mind, and its accumulation has taken time. For most of us the mind is memory, and whenever there is a challenge, a demand, it is memory that responds. It is like the response of the electronic brain, which functions through association. Thought being the response of memory, it is in its very nature the product of time and the creator of time.

Please, what I am saying is not a theory, it is not something that you have to think about. You don't have to think about it, but rather see it, because it is so. I am not going into all the intricate details, but I have indicated the essential facts, and either you see them, or you don't see them. If you are following what is being said, not just verbally, linguistically, or analytically, but if you actually see it is so, you will realize how time deceives; and then the question is whether time can stop. If we are able to see the whole process of our own activity - see its depth, its shallowness, its beauty, its ugliness - not tomorrow, but immediately, then that very perception is the action which destroys time.

Without understanding time, we cannot understand sorrow. They are not two different things, as we try to make out. Going to the office, being with one's family, procreating children - these are not separate, isolated incidents. On the contrary, they are all profoundly and intimately related to each other; and we cannot see this extraordinary intimacy of relationship if there is not the sensitivity that love brings.

To understand sorrow we have really to understand the nature of time and the structure of thought. Time must come to a stop, otherwise we are merely repeating the information we have accumulated, like an electronic brain. Unless there is an end to time - which means an end to thought - there is mere repetition, adjustment, a continual modification. There is never anything new. We arc glorified electronic brains - a bit more independent, perhaps, but still machine-like in the way we function.

So, to understand the nature of sorrow, and the ending of sorrow, one must understand time; and to understand time is to understand thought. The two are not separate. In understanding time, one comes upon thought; and the understanding of thought is the ending of time, and therefore the ending of sorrow. If that is very clear, then we can look at sorrow, and not worship it, as the Christians do. What we don't understand we either worship or destroy. We put it in a church, in a temple, or in a dark corner of the mind, and hold it in awe; or we kick it, throw it away; or we escape from it. But here we are not doing any of those things. We see that for millennia man has struggled with this problem of sorrow, and that he has not been able to resolve it; so he has become hardened to it, he has accepted it, saying it is an inevitable part of life.

Now, merely to accept sorrow is not only stupid, but it makes for a dull mind. It makes the mind insensitive, brutal, superficial, and therefore life becomes very shoddy, a process of mere work and pleasure. One lives a fragmented existence as a business man, a scientist, an artist, a sentimentalist, a so-called religious person, and so on. But to understand and be free of sorrow, you have to understand time, and thereby understand thought. You cannot deny sorrow, or run away, escape from it through entertainment, through churches, through organized beliefs; nor can you accept and worship it; and not to do any of these things demands a great deal of attention, which is energy.

Sorrow is rooted in self-pity, and to understand sorrow there must first be a ruthless operation on all self-pity. I do not know if you have observed how sorry for yourself you become, for example, when you say, "I am lonely". The moment there is self-pity you have provided the soil in which sorrow takes root. However much you may justify your self-pity, rationalize it, polish it, cover it up with ideas, it is still there, festering deep within you. So a man who would understand sorrow must begin by being free of this brutal, self-centred, egotistic triviality which is self-pity. You may feel self-pity because you have a disease, or because you have lost someone by death, or because you have not fulfilled yourself and are therefore frustrated, dull; but whatever its cause, self-pity is the root of sorrow. And when once you are free of self-pity, you can look at sorrow without either worshipping it, or escaping from it, or giving it a sublime, spiritual significance, such as saying that you must suffer to find God - which is utter nonsense. It is only the dull, stupid mind that puts up with sorrow. So there must be no acceptance of sorrow whatsoever, and no denial of it. When you are free of self-pity, you have deprived sorrow of all the sentimentality, all the emotionalism that springs from self-pit then you are able to look at sorrow with complete attention.

I hope you are actually doing this with me this morning as we go along, and are not just verbally accepting what is being said. Be aware of your own dull acceptance of sorrow, of your rationalizing, your excuses, your self-pity, your sentimentality, your emotional attitude towards sorrow, because all that is a dissipation of energy. To understand sorrow you must give your whole attention to it, and in that attention there is no place for excuses, for sentiment, for rationalization, no place for any self-pity whatsoever.

I hope I am making myself clear when I talk about giving one's whole attention to sorrow. In that attention there is no effort to resolve or to understand sorrow. One is just looking, observing. Any effort to understand, to rationalize, or to escape from sorrow, denies that negative state of complete attention in which this thing called sorrow can be understood.

We are not analyzing, we are not analytically investigating sorrow in order to get rid of it, because that is just another trick of the mind. The mind analyzes sorrow, and then imagines it has understood and is free of sorrow - which is nonsense. You may get rid of one particular kind of sorrow; but sorrow will come up again in another form. We are talking about sorrow as a total thing - about sorrow as such - whether it is yours, or mine, or that of any other human being.

As I have said, to understand sorrow there must be the understanding of time and thought. There must be a choiceless awareness of all the escapes, of all the self-pity, of all the verbalizations, so that the mind becomes completely quiet in front of something which has to be understood. There is then no division between the observer and the thing observed. It is not that you - the observer, the thinker - are in sorrow and are looking at that sorrow, but there is only the state of sorrow. That state of undivided sorrow is necessary, because when you look at sorrow as an observer you create conflict, which dulls the mind and dissipates energy, and therefore there is no attention.

When the mind understands the nature of time and thought, when it has rooted out self-pity, sentiment, emotionalism, and all the rest of it, then thought - which has created all this complexity - comes to an end, and there is no time; therefore you are directly and intimately in contact with that thing which you call sorrow. Sorrow is sustained only when there is an escape from sorrow, a desire to run away from it, to resolve it, or to worship it. But when there is nothing of all that because the mind is directly in contact with sorrow, and is therefore completely silent with regard to it, then you will discover for yourself that the mind is not in sorrow at all. The moment one's mind is completely in contact with the fact of sorrow, that fact itself resolves all the sorrow producing qualities of time and thought. Therefore there is the ending of sorrow.

Now, how are we to understand this thing which we call death, and of which we are so frightened? Man has created many devious ways of dealing with death - by worshipping it, denying it, clinging to innumerable beliefs, and so on. But to understand death, surely you must come to it afresh; because you really do not know anything about death, do you? You may have seen people die, and you have observed in yourself or in others the coming on of old age with its deterioration. You know there is the ending of physical life by old age, by accident, by disease, by murder or suicide, but you do not know death as you know sex, hunger, cruelty, brutality. You do not actually know what it is to die, and until you do, death has no meaning whatsoever. What you are afraid of is an abstraction, something which you do not know. Not knowing the fullness of death, or what its implications are, the mind is frightened of it - frightened of the thought, not of the fact, which it does not know.

Please go into this with me a little bit.

If you died instantly, there would be no time to think about death and be frightened of it. But there is a gap between now and the moment when death will come, and during that interval you have plenty of time to worry, to rationalize. You want to carry over to the next life - if there is a next life - all the anxieties, the desires, the knowledge that you have accumulated, so you invent theories, or you believe in some form of immortality. To you, death is something separate from life. Death is over there, while you are here, occupied with living - driving a car, having sex, feeling hunger, worrying, going to the office, accumulating knowledge, and so on. You don't want to die because you haven't finished writing your book, or you don't yet know how to play the violin very beautifully. So you separate death from life, and you say, "I will understand life now, and presently I will understand death". But the two are not separate - and that is the first thing to understand. Life and death are one, they are intimately related, and you cannot isolate one of them and try to understand it apart from the other. But most of us do that. We separate life into unrelated watertight compartments. If you are an economist, then economics is all that you are concerned with, and you don't know anything about the rest. If you are a doctor whose speciality is the nose and throat, or the heart, you live in that limited field of knowledge for forty years, and that is your heaven when you die.

As I said, to deal with life fragmentarily is to live in constant confusion, contradiction, misery. You have to see the totality of life; and you can see the totality of it only when there is affection, when there is love. Love is the only revolution that will produce order. It is no good acquiring more and more knowledge about mathematics, about medicine, about history, about economics, and then putting all the fragments together - that will not solve a thing. Without love, revolution only leads to the worship of the State, or the worship of an image, or to innumerable tyrannical corruptions and the destruction of man. Similarly, when the mind, because it is frightened, puts death at a distance and separates it from daily living, that separation only breeds more fear, more anxiety, and the multiplication of theories about death. To understand death you have to understand life. But life is not the continuity of thought - and it is this very continuity which has bred all our misery.

So, can the mind bring death from the distance to the immediate? Do you follow? Actually, death is not somewhere far away: it is here and now. It is here when you are talking, when you are enjoying yourself, when you are listening, when you are going to the office. It is here at every minute of life, just as love is. If once you perceive this fact, then you will find that there is no fear of death at all. One is afraid, not of the unknown, but of losing the known. You are afraid of losing your family, of being left alone, without companions; you are afraid of the pain of loneliness, of being without the experiences, the possessions that you have gathered. It is the known that we are afraid to let go of. The known is memory, and to that memory the mind clings. But memory is only a mechanical thing - which the computers are demonstrating very beautifully.

To understand the beauty and the extraordinary nature of death, there must be freedom from the known. In dying to the known there is the beginning of the understanding of death, because then the mind is made fresh, new, and there is no fear; therefore one can enter into that state which is called death. So, from the beginning to the end, life and death are one. The wise man understands time, thought, and sorrow, and only he can understand death. The mind that is dying each minute, never accumulating, never gathering experience, is innocent, and is therefore in a constant state of love.

I wonder if you care to ask questions about this, so that we can go into it in greater detail?

Questioner: Sir, what is the difference between your thought about love and the Christian thought about love?

Krishnamurti: I am afraid I cannot tell you. I am not thinking about love. You cannot think about love; if you do, it is not love. You know, there is a vast difference between sex, and the thought about sex which stimulates the feeling. The mind that is occupied with the mere enjoyment of sex, that thinks about sex, exciting itself by images, by pictures, by thoughts - the quality of such a mind is destructive. But the other thing, the feeling when there is no thought about it, is entirely different. Similarly, you cannot think about love. You can think about love according to the pattern of your memory, or in terms of what you have been told: that it is good, profane, sacred, and so on. But that thinking is not love. Love is neither Christian nor Hindu, neither oriental nor occidental neither yours nor mine. It is only when you get rid of all these ideas of your nationality, of your race, of your religion, and all the rest of it - it is only then that you will know what it is to love.

You see, I have talked this morning about death so that you might really understand this whole thing - not just while you are here in this tent, but throughout the rest of your life - and thereby be free of sorrow, free of fear, and actually know what it means to die. If now, and in the days to come, your mind is not completely aware, innocent, deeply attentive, then listening to words is utterly futile. But if you are aware, deeply attentive, conscious of your own thoughts and feelings; if you are not interpreting what the speaker is saying, but are actually observing yourself as he describes and goes into the problem, then when you leave this tent you will live - live not only with exultation, but with death and with love.

Jiddu Krishnamurti July 28, 1964 Saanen, Switzerland, 8th public talk

posted in :| techno.toltec |: - 0 replies

bleep fest!!!

2006-08-10T07:05:01Z

http://www.ninjaskillz.net/bleep-fest-2006

posted in :| techno.toltec |: - 0 replies

Khalil Gibran ~ chapter from the prophet

2006-06-30T19:43:37Z

hope some of you would take a minute or two and read through these words ... may your weekend be filled with sweet pleasures and summertime bliss!

* * * *

On Pleasure

Then a hermit, who visited the city once a year, came forth and said, "Speak to us of Pleasure."

And he answered, saying:

Pleasure is a freedom song,

But it is not freedom.

It is the blossoming of your desires,

But it is not their fruit.

It is a depth calling unto a height,

But it is not the deep nor the high.

It is the caged taking wing,

But it is not space encompassed.

Ay, in very truth, pleasure is a freedom-song.

And I fain would have you sing it with fullness of heart; yet I would not have you lose your hearts in the singing.

Some of your youth seek pleasure as if it were all, and they are judged and rebuked.

I would not judge nor rebuke them. I would have them seek.

For they shall find pleasure, but not her alone:

Seven are her sisters, and the least of them is more beautiful than pleasure.

Have you not heard of the man who was digging in the earth for roots and found a treasure?

And some of your elders remember pleasures with regret like wrongs committed in drunkenness.

But regret is the beclouding of the mind and not its chastisement.

They should remember their pleasures with gratitude, as they would the harvest of a summer.

Yet if it comforts them to regret, let them be comforted.

And there are among you those who are neither young to seek nor old to remember;

And in their fear of seeking and remembering they shun all pleasures, lest they neglect the spirit or offend against it.

But even in their foregoing is their pleasure.

And thus they too find a treasure though they dig for roots with quivering hands.

But tell me, who is he that can offend the spirit?

Shall the nightingale offend the stillness of the night, or the firefly the stars?

And shall your flame or your smoke burden the wind?

Think you the spirit is a still pool which you can trouble with a staff?

Oftentimes in denying yourself pleasure you do but store the desire in the recesses of your being.

Who knows but that which seems omitted today, waits for tomorrow?

Even your body knows its heritage and its rightful need and will not be deceived.

And your body is the harp of your soul,

And it is yours to bring forth sweet music from it or confused sounds.

And now you ask in your heart, "How shall we distinguish that which is good in pleasure from that which is not good?"

Go to your fields and your gardens, and you shall learn that it is the pleasure of the bee to gather honey of the flower,

But it is also the pleasure of the flower to yield its honey to the bee.

For to the bee a flower is a fountain of life,

And to the flower a bee is a messenger of love,

And to both, bee and flower, the giving and the receiving of pleasure is a need and an ecstasy.

People of Orphalese, be in your pleasures like the flowers and the bees.

posted in :| techno.toltec |: - 0 replies

make no apology for knowing of (compassion)

2006-06-28T23:35:08Z

i will not apologize for my knowing. (compassion)

Great Compassion
by Thich Nhat Hanh

Since I was a Young man, I've tried to understand the nature of compassion. But what little compassion I've learned has come not from intellectual investigation but from my actual experience of suffering. I am not proud of my suffering any more than a person who mistakes a rope for a snake is proud of his fright. My suffering has been a mere rope, a mere drop of emptiness so insignificant that it should dissolve like mist at dawn. But is has not dissolved, and I am almost unable to bear it. Doesn't the Buddha see my suffering? How can he smile? Love seeks a manifestation - a romantic love, a motherly love, patriotic love, love for humanity, love for all beings. When you love someone, you feel anxious for him or her and want them to be safe and nearby. You cannot simply put your loved ones out of your thoughts. When the Buddha witnesses the endless suffering of living beings, he must feel deep concern. How can he just sit there and smile? But think about it. It is we who sculpt him sitting and smiling, and we do it for a reason. When you stay up all night worrying about your loved one, you are so attached to the phenomenal world that you may not be able to see the true face of reality. A physician who accurately understands her patient's condition does not sit and obsess ovr a thousand different explanations or anxieties as the patient's family might. The doctor knows that the patient will recover, and so she may smile even while the patient is still sick. Her smile is not unkind; it is simply the smile of one who grasps the situation and does not engage in unnecessary worry. How can I put into words the true nature of Great Compassion, mahakaruna?

When we begin to see that black mud and white snow are neither ugly nor beautiful, when we can see them without discrimination or duality, then we begin to grasp Great Compassion. In the eyes of the Great Compassion, there is neither left nor right, friend nor enemy, close nor far. Don't think that Great Compassion is lifeless. The energy of Great Compassion is radiant and wondrous. In the eyes of the Great Compassion, there is no separation between subject and object, no separate self. Nothing that can disturb Great Compassion.

If a cruel and violent person disembowels you, you can smile and look at him with love. It is his upbringing, his situation, and his ignorance that cause him to act so mindlessly. Look at him - the one who is bent on your destruction and heaps injustice upon you - with eyes of love and compassion. Let compassion pour from your eyes and don't let a ripple of blame or anger rise up in your heart. He commits senseless crimes against you and makes you suffer because he cannot see the way to peace, joy, or understanding.

If some day you receive news that I have died because of someone's cruel actions, know that I died with my heart at peace. Know that in my last moments I did not succumb to anger. We must never hate another being. If you can give rise to this awareness, you will be able to smile. Remembering me, you will continue on your path. You will have a refuge that no one can take from you. No one will be able to disturb your faith, because that faith does not rely on anything in the phenomenal world. Faith and love are one and can only emerge when you penetrate deeply the empty nature of the phenomenal world, when you can see that you are in everything and everything is in you.

Long ago I read a story about a monk who felt no anger toward the cruel king who had chopped off the monk's ear and pierced his skin with a knife. When I read that, I thought the monk must be some kind of god. That was because I did not yet know the nature of Great Compassion. The monk had no anger to hold back. All he had was a heart of love. there is nothing to prevent us from being like that monk. Love teaches us that we can all live like that.

from Architects of Peace edited by Michael Collopy

posted in :| techno.toltec |: - 3 replies

Green Day - Day of Time - Eugene - planning help???

2006-06-15T06:50:54Z

Blessed be galactic family of light workers and star runners. The day out of time nears and I feel inspired to put together a park gathering in eugene for it. So lets do it together. I call a council meet tuesday june 20th in the park at at Monroe and Broadway in Eugene.

Have you seen Votan's message about making ET contact on that day?
lemme know whatcha think!
In Lak'ech
Galactic Mate'

____________________________
Green Day Extraterrestrial Contact
Kin 208 Yellow Cosmic Star Day Out of Time 2006
All Points Alert Bulletin

"Green day: always corresponds to Gregorian calendar date, July 25, in order for the galactic-solar year to synchronize with the 52-year cycle; independent of the 13 moons, green day is known as galactic freedom day." Dreamspell, the Journey of Timeship Earth 2013, p.37.

"Never could our planet use outside help more than now." Michael Luckman, Alien Rock, The Rock 'n' Roll Extraterrestrial Connection, Pocket Books, 2005, p. 301

"Rock 'n' roll and UFOs is the mantra of the new millennium ... The hope is that extraterrestrials will send a signal back - the first huge step in joining the civilizations ..." Michael Luckman, Alien Rock, p. 289

Kin 208 Yellow Cosmic Star
I endure in order to beautify
Transcending art
I seal the store of elegance
with the cosmic tone of presence
I am guided by the power of free will

Take Magic Flight!

According to the Dreamspell mythology, it is 208 steps to Merlin's Tower, then comes entry to the Green Central Castle of Enchantment, the Court of the Matrix and the Moon Genesis. This means that the Day out of Time, Kin 208, should be the most magical Day out of Time yet. Originally called green day because green is the overtone chromatic color signifying the galactic fifth force, this Day out of Time let us all exercise our galactic freedom and contact the Galactic Federation. With only six and a half years to the Closing of the Cycle this is the moment to send the signal to space and see if the Galactic Federation won't beam us back a reply.

Flying saucers from other worlds dropped in unexpectedly at the original Woodstock Festival, in New York and at the Jimi Hendrix Rainbow Bridge concert in Hawai'i - so why won't they respond to a synchronized signal sent by groups of meditators and concerts intentionally beaming a psychic signal to space. Everything depends on our intention, focus and synchronized effort to communicate and see if we can't establish two-way communication. After all, every year we receive signals in the form of ever more fascinating crop circles, so why don't we send a few signals that we are all familiar with and see if we don't get a signal back. Why don't we send the banner of peace and Hunab Ku/galactic shield symbols out into space - telepathically, and wherever we can by laser beams.

There are several ways we can do this. First of all, wherever there are Day Out of Time gatherings, as early in the day as possible - pre-dawn is best when the airwaves are pretty clear - we should take time to sit in a circle and come to absolute quiet and natural mind peacefulness. Then, after fifteen minutes or so, all together we should concentrate and visualize in our mind the symbol of the banner of peace. This is easy to do. Think that all of us gathered at this particular place have the same image in mind, concentrating on it without distraction. Then, as we hold that image as clear and distinct as we can make it in our imaginal mind, visualize that the projections of this symbol are being sent radially out from that circle, beaming it to the farthest reaches of space. In your mind and heart you should fill that visualization with pure unconditional love, requesting fervently that it be and that the Galactic Federation is requested to help bring peace to the planet by first sending some kind of sign that it has received our message.

Then, after another fifteen minutes or so of beaming the banner of peace symbol, you can follow that up with the hunab ku/galactic shield visualization (this is the one on the Dreamspell kit). Gathering yourself in silence again for another fifteen minutes or so, then, as before, commence to visualize the hunab ku/galactic shield. After you have the image as distinct and clear as you can get it in your mind's eye, then again begin to project it into space, radiating out in so many beams from your circle. This time your intention is to contact the extraterrestrial intelligence, for you need knowledge and help for your planet. Feel fervently in your heart and mind how such supermental knowledge at this time could help your planet solve its problems.

Finally, after another fifteen minutes of visualizing and projecting, take another fifteen minutes or so to return to the calm and quiet of the natural mind meditation, always minding the gap. Then to complete the exercise, do the rainbow bridge visualization, feeling the rainbow projecting from the poles of the Earth. Once again, as you complete the visualization, send it to out into deepest space radiating out from your circle of galactic freedom lovers, letting the Galactic Federation know of your vision for 2012 and requesting that whatever assistance they can give for the fulfillment of this vision, it will be most profoundly appreciated.

That is the first part of the exercise. Then later in the day if there are any concerts, let the performance of these be on behalf of sending a signal into space in the hope that it may be heard or received and reciprocated in some way. Nothing particularly special has to be done, but merely that the performers and audience know that the intention of this concert is specifically to send a signal to space on behalf of galactic freedom on Earth. If there are evening events, or in any case in the evening, where there might be the technology to do so, laser lights bearing the symbols of the banner of peace and the galactic shield should be projected upwards into the sky, signaling the extraterrestrials that a unified, synchronized effort is being made to communicate with them, that we know we need their help and that we are ready to receive them in whatever way they wish to manifest or communicate.

The more people on Earth that can participate in this effort, the better. As the earth turns there will be a moving 24 hour synchronization of meditation, concerts and laser light shows all beaming the same message: we are in peace; we need your intelligence; we are ready for you; 2012 is very near now. Can you help us?

Everything depends on clarity of mind, selflessness, compassion, and no expectation to receive anything in the familiar paradigm, but something totally unexpected, perhaps even as some radically new intuition or perception collectively perceived. Purify your body and mind. Be ready.

Klatu Barada Nikto!

Honoring the Presence of Red Lightning Child Great Emptiness

Galactic Research Institute
Foundation for the Law of Time
www.lawoftime.org

posted in :| techno.toltec |: - 1 reply

more thinking on the selling of ceremonies

2006-05-26T15:08:04Z

I'm quoting the following from who I think is an elder Lakota (?) traditional by the name of John Trudell. This comes from a book called Stickman by Paola Igliori, an interview from February 12, 1994:

Where I think the difference really comes out is that...it's about the money and I think that a lot of the opposition to it is because see the ceremonies have a meaning and the idea that people go out and sell them, then the meaning has become altered to the person who is selling it--we are talking about perceptions now--so, the individual that is selling the ceremony it's more than likely that this individual's perception will be affected by the ability to sell the ceremony, because a whole new factor enters into play here now, it's how this individual's perception is affected by the money...because when you get this type of power and you're going to utilize this kind of power...then everything has got to be clean...right... I'm not just talking about you go out and do this once and you get a little expense money to get you by... but when people make it a way of making their living by selling the ceremonies, then there is a certain dependency that has to evolve... to the money... and the integrity of the ceremony is no longer the same as if the ceremony was being held because of the *need* for the ceremony. Because tyhe person that runs the ceremony, this is the person you trust to call this power and make this external communication, so everybody places their minds with this person, but let's say this person --his intentions are good, but his motives may not be in synch with the intentions, because the money has influenced the need for the ceremony...right?... fine lines here.

Anytime you have a ceremony and you call to that power, the power you are calling to will hear you...but if you don't understand what you are doing, you are not going to understand the answer, and your problem is not even gonna be close to being solved...so that means you got to go buy another ceremony...so this is the danger area.

See now, me personally, I understand the whole idea about this knowledge being put there so that people have an opportunity, right, to examine it, at least have an opportunity to have the information. I can understand that reasoning and I'm not against it, right...but I can't say what is right or wrong about this issue on the ceremonies...see what I know is...I think Sitting Bull said to the Americans..."Your people know how to fight about God, we don't know that way and we don't want to learn it."... all right...? See to me this kind of falls in that category, I don't wanna fight about what's the right way...who's spiritually correct, who's spiritually incorrect...all I really know about it is: if you mess with power, then you got to understand what you're doing... because... it's only you in the end that's gonna have to deal with it...and that's my understanding about it.

So if people selling the ceremonies...but the rationalization is spreading the word...but the reality is they are selling the ceremony--and those are two separate realities to me---if what they are doing is not right so to speak...then that's something they will answer to...they are communicating with this power...nobody else will answer to that but them...and if what they're doing it's supposed to be the way it is...then...they don't have to worry about answering, right!

On the other hand--the people that would attack to protect spirituality...I don't have a real understanding about that either, because if everybody becomes aggressive...For me it's an individual thing... I wouldn't sell ceremonies... I would not go out and run a ceremony for money...but then see I'm not a ceremony person...so I can't really judge that it's right or wrong...because I know people who do sell ceremonies, do them for money, and I like [some of] them... [and] there are those that do this that I like and I respect them. I don't agree with it, but the deal is, I can't say to them...I think what you're doing is wrong...I can't say that, because I don't *know* that it is.

[But]...It's a recyclable factionalism that serves a purpose anyway to those who would colonize us [that isn't going to go away].

posted in :| techno.toltec |: - 20 replies

challenges with four agreements

2006-05-25T01:24:49Z

i've been "wearing" the four agreements for quite awhile now, and have found much satisfaction, until recently. Maybe it's the meta social fears that so many are apparently feeling (in the context of EarthMom reacting to hue-man intensities?), and my believing that people i thought were more spiritually advanced than me would actually help and care...(please check me on any b.s. you feel i'm saying)

Anyway, i'm dealing with my intensities and wanting to let them out into the open, but many others are dealing with their own as well and have been trained (?) to hold such "dysfunction" within, inside, letting it fester, while venting it in places/on certain people (i.e. the socially "inferior", scapegoats)...The bottom line is, i'm feeling overwhelmed and that i've got to take a major rest from all the 'work' i've been doing--my response-abilities...except that beyond this work i find so much emptiness.

i'm 'just' pouring out my feelings here. Let me try to get a better grip. (i *do* want to organize/create some sort of community speaking/communication...but had hoped someone else would have done it already...)

So i wanted to post because i've had it pointed out to me that i've ***been taking things very very personally*** of late; in my desire to try to understand things and *become one with them*, and work/play them through...yet surrounded, apparently, by persons who don't want to work/play them through...So, in a community i've spent about 6 years with, i now feel that i must move on...like i don't have a choice...and cynicism is overtaking me finally, i guess (at my age of 40).

And i was thinking that in my focusing on the four agreements so much that i've actually begun becoming the things that the toltec council against. Focusing on not taking things personally, but taking them personally anyway, when it most counts.

And feeling that by doing this, by not holding it within, i'm wanting to set up a situation where "radical" care comes from places we've (collectively) not seen. Places we could *permit* ourselves to create...yet do not. At least in this group.

Anyway, i just had to get this off my chest. i was going to start another tribe since the four agreements tribe (not this one)'s host is not here anymore...but thought i'd try speaking about this here first. Please say if you, .tina, others, don't understand what i'm saying. i feel like i'm "just" babbling...and not getting ahold of what i'm really wanting to say.

i know that i'm missing meaningful community in a really big way. And more and more i think about taking myself out (tho i'm not thinking this now, it comes up over and over again). So much hellish mind-set, it seems. And i being crazy and messed up and fucked-up and wondering why i should stay in this dimension.

Any reflections/thoughts are welcome. Or perhaps i should come back another time and try to say all of this more succinctly.

posted in :| techno.toltec |: - 16 replies

Etznab

2006-05-17T01:52:18Z

The Mayan hall of mirrors is a never-ending corridor of reflection reflecting other reflections. It is the gallery of images and outward illusions that is shown to all around you. While each mirror holds a facet of truth of the subject it reflects, it still is twisted and distorted in its appearance, just as your own image is reversed when you look at your reflection.

Many are trapped in their own hall of mirrors, so lost among the reflections that they no longer know (or remember) that a reflection is as formless and insubstantial as the light that transmits them. The only solution to this paradox is the sword of truth buried within each and every one of us. Just as Alexander the Great took his blade and sliced apart the Gordian Knot, thereby conquering a new land, thus it is with us. We must cut away the knots that our own reflections have tied to us to conquer ourselves.

In tarot, the King of Swords is an intelligent ruler: a man whose experience has given him patience, whose knowledge has made him observant, whose passion has made him just, whose emotions are tempered with reason. Thus it is with us.

posted in :| techno.toltec |: - 1 reply

Fully experiencing the other

2006-05-16T07:11:11Z

I want to fully experience others... get out of the head, into the body, into the heart ... take the feeling and make it something OUT THERE...

posted in :| techno.toltec |: - 10 replies

:| techno.toltec |:'s topics - tribe.net

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Okay, what is wrong with this picture?

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* * BABY.LOVE **

let's start up the quote of the day again ~*

care for a giggle or two::

THE FOUR AGREEMENTS SKILLS FOR FREEDOM AND TRANSFORMATION

bleached bones, the remains of Castaneda's 'blue scout' found in Death Valley

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did anyone else catch a ride on that stream of consciousness~~~~*

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the real revolution~*

bleep fest!!!

Khalil Gibran ~ chapter from the prophet

make no apology for knowing of (compassion)

Green Day - Day of Time - Eugene - planning help???

more thinking on the selling of ceremonies

challenges with four agreements

Etznab

Fully experiencing the other

jose arguelles vs. the real mayan calender